Ruth, Baby Ruth, Ruthie, Friend, Godmother, Aunty, Sister, Omi and Mum. She was so special to so many of us and this Eulogy is from us all
Thank you all for coming here today to celebrate and give thanks for Mum’s life. She would have been delighted to see you. She loved people and being around people. Many of you will have been close to her and known her over many years, others may have met her only once or twice but I’m sure we all share the same feeling – that Mum was a wonderful, warm, caring, generous and sincere person. I for one know that when I was with her the world just simply felt like a better place.
Mum was born on 8th February 1943 in Adliswil, Switzerland. As the youngest daughter of Alice and Werner Hasler-Günthardt, she enjoyed a very happy childhood with her two brothers Werner and Robert, and sister Alice. At that time her parents owned a farm with lots of animals and to make extra money in times of war, the horses were also used as a form of transportation, including for funerals. Mum went to Kindergarten, primary and secondary school in Adliswil and on to the Töchterschule in Zurich. Her happy and comfortable family-life was suddenly destroyed by the death of her mother Alice in 1956 - mum was only 13. As the youngest member of the family, this sad time hit her very hard. Her mother had a strong relationship with God which Mum shared with her and this needed nurturing.
As a result of this loss the young Ruth searched for “solace and shelter” which she found in the close and much loved Dannecker, Gauernik and Hug families, neighbours from Zurichstrasse (Vreni Gauernik being one of her best friends and a classmate). These close relationships continued throughout her life, through all generations.
At the age of 18 Mum bravely left Switzerland on her own to take up a job as an Au Pair in Paris, where she also attended French school. However, we only recently found out that it wasn’t just housework, childcare, and learning the French language that kept Mum busy whilst in Paris. It was only a few months ago that she gave Alix, her grand-daughter, who was off to Paris for the weekend, a firm warning to keep away from “those naughty French men” and the more decadent Pigalle district. So, what did cheeky Ruthie get up to? Perhaps someone will be able to enlighten us later at the golf club?
Following her stint in Paris, she moved to London to continue her au pairing career with the family of Mrs Hilda Grant who ultimately became that mother and grandmother figure to mum and us, and importantly supporting and guiding mum in her faith. This helped Mum settle quickly into her new life in England.
She initially lived with our ‘Auntie’ Hilda as an au-pair and then stayed on with her whilst studying midwifery. Mum, unsurprisingly choosing a profession that involved caring for others. It was in the East End Maternity Hospital where she met Dad and Aunty Apsa, and somewhat importantly where Mum caught Dad’s eye! Apart from the medical profession it was also their religion that brought them strongly together - Their first date was to a Billy Graham gathering with 3 other nurses……..beat that for a first date!!
They married in 1966 (a great year in England’s history) and soon I arrived in 1968, followed by David in 1970. Mum turned her hand from midwifery to homemaking. Our home was always full of visitors (friends and family) from all over the world; Switzerland, Egypt, Germany, France and Lebanon to name but a few. A busy home filled with a plethora of mumbling languages, wafts of home-cooking and laughter where all were welcomed with warmth and genuine care even those who she had never met before. The unannounced arrival of the couple from Germany at the crack of dawn in their 2CV and typically Aunty Linda-the bag lady- together with pots and pans spring to mind. She met a lot of her friends with Dad whilst attending Christian Endeavour and Bible Land Mission conferences around the world.
Many of you have reminded us of memories of happy times: from Summers hanging out with our cousins and family in Adliswil walking the dog and feeding the rabbits, to picnics in the New Forest with the Hogans, boat trips in the south of France and meals by the pool with the Sorbiers, amongst many.
She put so much effort into keeping in touch with people; she always sent a card for birthdays and Christmas and made that call to stay in touch with those she cared about. As kids, to David’s dismay, she very firmly encouraged us to do the card thing as well.
Mum had high expectations of herself and was always searching to learn more through self-study or attending courses. This ranged from a beautician’s course (which I had the benefit of being the guinea pig for) to flower arranging at Capel Manor where she made more great friends and skilled herself up, becoming a member of the flower team here at St. James.
BUT she was at the top of her profession when it came to homemaking and being a stay at home mother. An article in The Telegraph reported that the hardest job in the world is being a mum, and if it was a salaried position it would be one of the best paid too. It calculated that taking into account all the cooking, cleaning, nursing and childcare (plus a dash of counselling, tutoring and work as a personal organiser and chauffeur), housewives deserve an annual salary of £159,137. For us, Mum was far more that that..........she was priceless!
Mum was a perfectionist whether it was cleaning, cooking, flower arranging, gardening, or anything else………it had to be done immaculately. So much so that she even went as far as ironing under wear! Even the simplest food became a gourmet meal, and clothes were in the wash before they had a chance to hit the floor – well maybe the case for David; I, however was trained to put my clothes in the washing basket and neatly put them away once washed! And let’s not forget ‘The well-stocked’ fridge and food cupboards. Many of you here will be able to testify to that. She was so house proud to the point that Dad’s reluctance to change carpets, curtains, wallpaper anything for that matter was a source of great frustration. When she did get the opportunity, she did an amazing job of turning the family home into a beautiful, warm and welcoming place for all-comers to be.
She attended St. James for at least 25 years, was part of Keith and Shirly’s home group and helped with Wave (we are all valued equally). Mum was consistently there to support; there was action behind her words of care. She was always doing things for others, whether it be working in the Muswell Hill soup kitchen, rattling tins outside M&S in Muswell Hill (despite her shyness), climbing Kilimanjaro to raise money for Marie Curie, or simply being there for her friends and family. She even sent her granddaughter down to Finsbury Park to find out the names of the homeless so that she could write a personalised Christmas cards to go alongside her homemade fruit cake and some toiletries which she delivered with Alix last Christmas.
She was a great friend and God-mother (Gotti). She has been described as a ‘Gracious, completely unselfish, deeply caring, and always busy and helpful person. A dear friend to many. Her door was always open ready to put the kettle on for a cuppa and a chat. A great listener, encouraging and generous.
One lovely tribute said…
"One of the kindest , most caring and loving people I ever had the pleasure to have known."
She was the special sister, the special aunty and to us the most special and unique mother and Omi.
Family life was rather unsettled at times but she always strove to give us the best, ensure we had a good ‘education’ sitting down with us every day to help us with our homework, nurtured us with lots of healthy food and a daily intake of a spoon of Manuka honey, cod liver oil, and a yeast tablet (not mine or David’s ideal start to the day for breakfast…but that was mum - she was ahead of the game when it came to healthy living and vitamins!!). She drove us to and from sports fixtures, stood in the rain to then be rewarded with piles of muddy kits, boots and grass stained cricket trousers (which she incredibly restored to sparkling white again). – thank you very much, Mum!
She was a stickler for manners and discipline with the odd appearance of the wooden spoon or a soap mouthwash. We did eventually learn.
Every Christmas…. starting from November she sat us down to make crafted presents to give to our family. Like her, she wanted us to put care, thought and effort into everything……….once again David somewhat begrudgingly!
She expressed and gave the same love and commitment to her grandchildren, the apples of her eye, who brought so so much joy to her. She was so so proud of you all
As we said, Mum was a perfectionist with her own unique style. Everything had to be just right and today mum we do hope everything is just right. We will sorely miss you.
But as Shirley put it, “we now know she is free from suffering and is with her Lord and Saviour ready to see us all again one day”.
We love you, Mum, with all our hearts forever.
